New Violation of the Clear Skies Initiative

If I've said it once, I've said a hundred times: You let one violation slip by, and the next thing you know, you have flagrant malefactors running amok. Let me set you no-good-niks straight about a few things. Flag Toppers are not against the Clear Skies Initiative in and of themselves; just the shiny ones are verboten. Have you ever perchance seen the blinding spectral glare when the sun hits a shiny flag topper just right? It's maddening beyond all measure. It's like the atomic bomb and the Eye of Sauron got married, had offspring, and ran it up a flagpole. Well, I for one am not saluting. I'm leaping and bounding and barking like mad, and this is going on my permanent list of grievances. That's how I draw a bead on you, and once it's drawn, you're the one who's going down.

VIOLATIONS

Violations:
1. The Walmart Parking Lot
2. Golf Cart and Violations Not Otherwise Specified (V-NOS)
3. The Pool
4. Close Up
5. Building 2
6. Helicopter
7. Wall Patrol
8. Cat in Window

At least SOMEONE remembered

You know, when I got back from the Renaissance Festival last week, and I found out that llamas had taken over my blog, I was put out to say the least. I just gave them my password so they could post some pictures of me playing the lute in costume. Leave it to llamas to try and make a quick buck off some half-brained attempt at a scam.

So I was still bent out of shape about the whole llama fiasco, and all my fair-weather friends around this nut house go and forget my Birthday. Look, I didn't expect anyone to make a Federal Case out of the day I joined the Planet, but would a little attention be too much to ask?

Then, just when I was knee deep in mope, that guy comes in with an envelope that was just for me. The nice folks at PetSmart remembered my Birthday! We're pretty tight, you know. Just because I don't go around dropping names, doesn't mean I'm not connected. It's such a great card! I love my Birthday Card. This is the front:

This is the inside of the card. My doggie fun has just begun. I really like that.


I hope I can get that guy to read me the card a few more times before I go to sleep tonight. I really like it when he reads it to me; he gets the intonations just right.

HOUR DEMANDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We are LLAMAS!!!! We are com and deering this blog!!!! and wii half yore litttle black dog.!!!! It is alive, but slowly!!!! She is barkking, so give us all hour demands!!! Bring 10,000 monies in an unmarked bag!! don't try giving us no Fig Knew Tons!!! Wii knead cache!!! And we want moor Lady Gaga moo sick!!!! Bring us a REd Box full of her CD musikx!!! Then youre litttle black dog can go homme alive, and hopefully in won peace!! Sum won else cut off her tale, knot us!!! YOU HALF WON ARE TWO MEAT HOUR DEMANDS!!!!!! Do knot call the police, or yore litttle black dog will DYE!!! Leaf all hour demands bye the hey stack, you no witch won!!!
KNOT SIN SEAR LEE, THE LLLAMAS!!!!!

Poppy LED Eyes

Beware of the Closet Towel Shark

BEWARE!!!!!!

Shark Eyes

Lately everyone around here's been calling me "shark eyes." I know it's supposed to be an insult, like my bug eyes are all cold and lifeless and creepy, but I like it. Sharks are cool. For once in my life, I have a nickname I like. Sometimes, things really do work out. Who would have guessed?

ANNUAL SPRING TRIBUTE TO GETTING OUT

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**This blog is for entertainment purposes only. Professional stunt dogs were used. Do not try this at home. Actually "getting out" can result in incarceration, injury, death, or loss of treats. Poppy Bainzer is not legally liable for the consequences of getting out.

For my good pals back East

Heard it's been raining like crazy!! Don't worry, dogs can swim pretty good. They don't even have to take lessons or anything. They can just jump right in and swim real good. They're pretty good at it too. Shake off real good when you come in from a walk (or swim), and you should be fine. I'm a meerkat, and I'm Poppy's guest blogger, because she's too lazy to get off her mope spot today. She says it's always raining in her soul, so she doesn't feel sorry for anyone. Poppy keeps saying, "That's my world, welcome to it." I don't even know what that means.

Newest joke around here

Well, the newest joke around here is lame, as per usual. Everyone's saying I remind them of some raccoon on some lame eyeglasses commercial. That doesn't look at all like me, and I don't walk like that. But whatever. Have a good laugh at my expense. I hope it's the cherry on the cake of your day. Hardy-Har-Har.