The Clear Skies Initiative hanging by a thread

Lately I’ve noticed many violations of the Clear Skies Initiative (CSI). Although it is blatantly obvious that these incidences are offensive beyond all measure, even to someone with no prior knowledge of the CSI Act of 2004, as per usual, people have been reverting to complacency and mediocrity as they live in their little straw houses built in Idiot-ville. Just when I think today might be a pretty good day, for once in my life, I look up in sky and see a CSI violation. I guess it’s just about par for the course that nothing ever goes my way. When the CSI Act passed, I thought, “Great, now maybe I can relax and enjoy life a little.” All I really got was another dream shot to heck. I don’t know why I bother anymore, but here is my grievance list, as if anyone even cares.

Objects forbidden under the Clear Skies Initiative:

1. helicopters
2. airplanes
3. jet trails
4. hot air balloons
5. hang-gliders
6. big helium balloons at car dealerships
7. small helium balloons that some kid let go of
8. search lights
9. beacons
10. plastic shopping bags caught in tree branches
11. light bouncing off tin foil onto the ceiling
12. the reflection from anything shiny on a balcony
13. helicopters
14. laser pen lights
15. kites

Things that are allowed under the Clear Skies Initiative:

Sun, Moon, Clouds, and Stars—It’s not that hard!

LET'S GET ONE THING STRAIGHT

OK kids, let's call this Image # 1. It's a bunny.

Now, let's call this Image #2. It's a purebred AKC registered Schipperke.

Now, if you can't tell the difference between Image #1 and Image #2, then don't walk past my house. I'm not a bunny! OK?? I've got a long list of grievances, and getting called a bunny is on it! Seriously, when is the last time you saw a bunny sitting in the window and barking its head off? I'll tell you the last time: It was when you needed glasses! I wouldn't go hiking if I were you, because you'll probably try to pet the cute little "bunny" called a grizzly bear, and it will snarf you down like a piece of Wonder Bread. I'm glad we got that straight.

SOME THINGS ARE JUST WRONG

Every time I see a helicopter up in the sky, I just want to bark my head off until I go insane.

Helicopters are just plain wrong. If you need that explained to you, then you are an idiot and I'm not even going to waste my precious time explaining the obvious to an idiot.

I won't even get to say "I told you so" to all of the idiots someday, because they will all be dead. BECAUSE OF HELICOPTERS, YOU IDIOT!!!!

WHAT A JOKE

I thought maybe today, for once in my life, was going to be a good day. Man, I sure had another think coming.

First of all, I really had to go pee, but those people were just snoozing away. I could have gone in the hall, but I'm a little more dignified than that. Trilby goes in the hall everyday, and blames Max! I guess you can get away with anything when you're the cute one. So then those people finally decided to get it in gear and take us on a so called walk.

A "Walk". What a joke.

It was like 10 seconds long; I had time to pee and sniff one lousy bush, and then they're dragging me up like 50 flights of stairs with that stupid leash.

Don't even get me started on breakfast. Those people keep calling it dog food, but I'm pretty dang sure it's just some gravel they picked up off the Wal-mart parking lot.